Binnur in Philosophy 7 minutes

Personal Reflections: My Operating Principles v1

Over the years, I have jotted down my values and mindsets that guided me through life. The holiday season is a great time to reflect, revise, and finally publish this living document.

“Principles are ways of successfully dealing with reality to get what you want out of life.” — Ray Dalio

We all have built-in conscious and unconscious values and principles that guide us. They are the unspoken ground rules for navigating life, especially when we are making decisions under extreme situations with no playbook present. In other words, principles are the reflection of our intentions informed by our values and how we apply them in our daily life. Values stem from our beliefs and through understanding what is important to us.

In the past, I was my job title. Now, I am an explorer and sometimes a wanderer. This life phase is a unique opportunity, and I am thankful. My intent at revisiting my operating principles is to capture this change in my philosophy of life, and regularly reflect during my 2020 weekly and monthly planning sessions.

What I Know and What Is True

“The formula of happiness and success is just being actually yourself, in the most vivid possible way you can.” — Meryl Streep

I am direct, and I don’t shy away from uncomfortable conversations. I also work hard to practice the right speech: share my truth only if it is useful and timely. Though I admit, my filters don’t always work…
I am opinionated, but practice strong opinions, weakly held. I know we all have our own truths fueled by our own experiences, values, and biases. I seek first to understand then to be understood. I will speak my truth, but I will also disagree and commit.
I strive for simplicity. I believe less is more, and is usually more effective. I believe life has a way to work itself out, and I trust it will.

“Jump into the middle of things, get your hands dirty, fall flat on your face, and then reach for the stars.” — Ben Stein

I like getting my hands dirty and getting sh*t done! I strive to celebrate ALL wins, big and small. Though, I do need gentle nudges as my tendency is to focus on problems yet to be solved.
While my world is full of uncertainty, I know my smile is the only thing that is under my control. I love to laugh and I won’t apologize for my quirky sense of humor.

”Energy and persistence conquer all things.” — Benjamin Franklin

I believe in self-care, critical for my sanity as I am an ambivert. With experience, I learned that I need to manage my energy, not time. This includes knowing what and who recharges me vs. drains me, and to make sure I am running in the positive. I won’t shy from letting you know I need some me time to recharge. Similarly, I encourage the same self-care in others around me.

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.” — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I nurture, but I won’t babysit. Instead of managing symptoms, I aim for the root cause and work to build systems that self-sustain. This also means I will do my darndest to NOT worry over things I have no control over, even if you want to talk about them obsessively…
I work hard to be timely and dependable, waiting is not my forte. Similarly, poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency for me. Managing what is urgent vs. important is an ongoing task in startups and in life.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” — Lao Tzu

I love ideas, but I value execution, iterating, and shipping — Gradatim ferociter: step-by-step, ferociously. (Note, I think I first saw this as the motto of Jeff Bezo’s Blue Origin.)

What I Want To Do More Of

”A blazing fire makes flame and brightness out of everything that is thrown into it.” — Marcus Aurelius

Treating life as an experiment is a philosophy I adopted last year, but I am not consistent in its application. Going forward, I aim to be more intentional and reflective — Amor fati, to see each and every moment, no matter how challenging, as something to be embraced, learned from, and not avoided.
There is a power in saying ‘No’ as it reflects values and principles. Similarly, every failure I experience and every ‘No’ I receive is an opportunity to step into my personal power and to practice my principles. Said more simply, failure and receiving ‘No’ is not something I need to fear, but to celebrate.

“Quit the wrong stuff. Stick with the right stuff. Have the guts to do one or the other.” — Seth Godin, The Dip

I don’t want to manage just my energy, but also my focus. This is an AND: manage energy AND focus. So, as I become more intentional — start with identifying the result that I want, and decide how I want to show up — I also strive to wander more to feed my soul.
I want to reevaluate my commitments and apply the “Hell Yeah” or ”No” principle by Derek Sivers. When it is anything less than a “Yess!!”, I will not feel guilty dropping things or adjusting how I show up.
I will fully integrate the regret principle to my decision making process. My goal is to live a good life without regrets, so I will project to how I’ll feel in 10, 20, or even 30 years as a result of this decision, to identify what I actually want, rather than basing it on what’s currently safe or comfortable.

“If the wind will not serve, take to the oars” — Latin Proverb

This quote really resinates with me as it is about resilience and actively adopting and adjusting to change which I value. But I also need to be true to my principles stated above… Life is not just about pushing the boulder up the hill and carrying everyone with me or getting frustrated when they don’t cooperate. I need to be more cognitive of my context and circumstances, be intentional and practice leaning back, not attach myself to any set expectations/results, and make space for others.

What I Want To Start Doing

“I say unto you, one must have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star. I say unto you, you still have chaos in yourselves.” — Friedrich Nietzche

I will intentionally reflect on my beliefs, especially the ones that brought me success, and challenge them to stand up or be burned down to make space for something new. In the process, I will get comfortable with being uncomfortable and show up in my authentic, vulnerable self. Remembering that every ‘no’, every push-back or disagreement I experience is an opportunity to step into my own power.

“If you can’t decide what to do, get on the road. You won’t find the answer. It will find you.” — Andy Dunn

I am a curious learner, but I want more purpose in my learning path towards mastery — invest in building learning goals, projects, and journal the path. I will let the process drive the results, do my best and not care how it turns out. My goal is to avoid the perfectionism trap and be open to surprises.

Wabi-Sabi: beauty of things imperfect

I want to explore wabi-sabi as a philosophy, revisit my principles, and build my own framework for living it.

What I Will Leave Behind

“To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn’t know what to do or that he can’t do it on his own.” — John Gray

I am good at recognizing patterns and identifying steps towards solutions. But that is not warrant for me to give an unsolicited advice or help. Instead, I will direct my energies to get curious about the individual and their relation to the issue at hand. If they do indeed ask for help, I will practice a more directed and focused advice giving that includes asking for their takeaways and how I may follow through.

“I’m working hard to un-cluster the fucks, so we can break them down and deal with them as individual fucks.” — Source Unknown

I noticed that I have a tendency to step into unfruitful arguments when I am triggered into justifying myself. If I am reacting to a trigger, I am certainly not understanding what caused the trigger in the first place. Instead, I will work hard to recognize the trigger, get curious about the disconnect, and lean in to understand the other individual better.

“There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it will be a butterfly ” — R. Buckminster Fuller

I have a tendency to evaluate if things are worth my time, energy, etc. I can’t be a wanderer if I everything I do is based on some random ROI computation…

My Top 5 Values

It is hard to boil down my values to a top 5. However, these reflect what I value, and it will be useful to revisit them in the future as my new operating principles take seed.

Authenticity: be true to myself and speak my truth
Challenge: keep challenging myself to grow, to be creative and impactful in my pursuits
Humor: see and appreciate all sides of life
Mindfulness: life is about nows
Self-care: act in accordance to what my body, mind, and heart needs

Resources

Here are some of my readings that influenced me.